It wasn’t until 2003, when I was in my early twenties, after I broke up with my boyfriend of 6.5 years, that I truly began to explore my sexuality. It was almost as if I had released a caged animal that didn’t realize it had been caged for so long.
I suppose my first experience in D/s happened even before I was 20. Of course, I didn’t realize it at the time. I was too naive to. When my boyfriend and I had turned 18, we went to an adult store together. I bought my very first vibrator, a cat o nine tails and a collar and leash set. My boyfriend and I enjoyed role playing. We did everything from me being a school teacher who seduces her young pupil to me wearing the collar and leash and parading around on all fours in the bedroom. It never once crossed my mind that I was unusual. I do wonder how it came to be that I became submissive when a lot of our role play involved me seducing him.
My first memorable experience of having pain mixed with my pleasure, was years ago, with that very same boyfriend. I was completely nude, wearing the collar and leash. He made me walk around my very cramped bedroom on all fours and if I didn’t crawl fast enough he would whip me with the cat o nine tails. It didn’t feel too painful, except he swatted my backside, and the tails swung over and licked my cunt. I yelped very loudly and it stung very badly. Our play ended right then since it was never the intention to really cause me pain. Looking back on that night though… it just felt so good.
For whatever reason, the fun sex play with that boyfriend fizzled out years before our relationship did. When I finally called it quits, my sex life really took off. However, it wasn’t until about 2005 that I began noticing I had these primal desires. I wanted rough and exciting sex. I wanted to be bound and spanked more than anything. My new boyfriend at the time, didn’t care for such things, so after 2 years of trying to be happy with him, I left him.
Now, I am with my husband and my life in D/s has truly began it’s journey.
In 2007/2008, my husband and I (then just dating) began exploring a life of D/s together. We were both each others’ firsts. I had never been a submissive and he had never been a Dominant. We read books, explored blogs, investigated resources and began talking to people. I became my husband’s collared submissive and he my Dominant. We did not live it 24/7, thought we had contemplated doing so. It just didn’t work for us. As anyone knows, true D/s takes a lot of mind-space, both for the sub and Dom. Below is a very simplified list of all the things I have encountered or performed, on my submissive journey thus far…
crops, nipple clamps, paddles, wax play, clothes pins, bruises, bites, floggers, canes, ropes, blindfolds, sensory deprivation, chains, collars, leash, restraints, anal plugs, cock worship, foot worship, objectification, anal sex, face slapping, breast slapping, spankings, age play and interrogation play.
It should be noted that my husband has been the first and only man to Dominate me. However, there was a woman. Her name is Mistress Kyra, a professional dominatrix. We never paid her to dominate me. Rather we met and became friends with her and she really wanted to play with me. So I had the honor and privilege to serve her. I was her masochist and she was my sadist. I had many experiences in her dungeon. My husband was there for one encounter. I remember being fucked by Mistress Kyra’s strap on while my husband’s cock was buried in my mouth. It was a most delicious time.
Alas, that was in 2009 and since then I have had no Dominant. Life happens and my husband and I drifted apart as dominant and submissive but grew as husband and wife. I have been on the look for a new Dominant with no success, but maintain the belief and hope that he is still out there, holding my collar in his hands and waiting for me to appear so that he may lock it into place.